Highlights . . .
- Condi shows off her new stretch-fitted kevlar bustier
- Rummy produces Powerpoint joint with nine satellite pix of bin Laden sunbathing nude on the roof of the Beirut Marriott
- Mo Qaddafi plays air guitar behind Porter Goss as he screams, "We're all gonna fuckin die!!"
- Wowie Howie rewrites Iowa pep speech: "And then we're going to Damascus!! And on to Tehran!! Then Baku!!! T'blisi!!!! Then on to Amsterdam . . . Chula Vista . . . Banff, for crissakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
- Al Gonzales spends five days trying to add several new colors to the Security Threat Level scheme
- congressional Democrats quit DC and create new professional hockey league based in Romania and Slovenia