2.23.2005

Peace In Iran

{our condolences to the victims of today's earthquake}

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usIf ever there was a man for whom a new phrase to descibe a pandering, gladhanding trip to Europe was needed, it's George W. Bush. To call his trip a charm offensive is akin to calling The Challenger disaster a funny firework.

George W. told us all to stop with the "ridiculous" ideas about a U.S. attack on Iran. "This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous.

Having said that, all options are on the table,"


George...let me make sure I understand you...the recon operations, unmanned drones, and construction of permanent military bases in Iraq and Afghanistan are incidental. Because any talk of getting ready to attack Iran is ridiculous. But...all options, including the imminent attack one, are on the table. So the broker peace option is on the same table as the attack Iran option. The attack Iran option is "ridiculous" while lying on the same table as the peace options...

Let's hope the whole table isn't ridiculous! Then where would we be? Why, we'd be in a world where war is as good as peace, where bombs are as good as words, where violence is as good as cooperation.

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In an alternate universe, there are some pro-peace Iranian bloggers trying to get your attention:

From Iranians For Peace: "Seymour Hersh has told us that some GI’s are creeping around the deserts south of the Zahedan preparing for W’s next war. I do not subscribe to the New Yorker but I tend to listen when Mr. Hersh speaks; he seems to know what’s cooking way ahead of time. So I would like to make some suggestions to the GI’s in case they actually do make it to Tehran and decide (God forbid) to ‘obliterate’… oops. sorry. I mean, “liberate” us… Falluja style.

Tehran Traffic – if your Central Intelligence Agency has been telling you that Tehran has a functioning traffic system, well they have been somewhat mendacious again. Over there, not even a Daisy Cutter is going to help you. Just sit down in your Humvee, plug in that iPod 40G and pop in a Prozac… extra strength.

Café Naderi – please….please… please, pay a bit of attention when carpet bombing the city with your “precision’ bombs. We are already shocked and awed by your reelection of ‘W’ last November, so there is no further need to stun us. The only place that truly will be missed if leveled will be our beloved Café Naderi. The waiters are primordial, the food is so-so, and the Turkish coffee is dreadful, but it has a slightly dowdy fin-de-siecle feel to it and is much loved."

From No War On Iran!: "Many people have argued that in the current talks about U.S. policy towards Iran, Europe and the U.S. have been playing the “good cop/bad cop” game (you guess who the bad cop is!) This makes some sense, but the “game” is actually more complex than involving two big action heroes (the good old Europe and the rebellious cowboy) who police the evil villain (Iranian Mullahs). Of course, one can argue that not all decision-makers in Iran are “Mullahs,” and not all Iranian Islamic clergies think the same. A detailed attention to different factions and their political power in different levels of authority reveals that the state in Iran is not a coherent body of authority spatialized “vertically” above the “society,” even as it is often imagined as such. Despite what one thinks about the role of religion in the state, as Alireza has pointed out in his last post, flattening the Iranian state and the government as “theocracy” and opposing it to American “democracy” is too simplistic."

In case you haven't heard... Iranians aren't evil after all! Spread the Word.