The Beast in All of Us (UPDATED)

Thank you, Lab Kat (reeeEEOOOOoooww!!), for the pointer to "The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005". I absolutely love it. Geraldo Rivera holds up the list at #50 and Pat Robertson (our punishment by God for masturbating so much) crowns it at #1. Tom "Top Gum" Cruise makes the list at #40 - I would have put him closer to the top (his perpetual smirk is more insidious than the preznichimp's). Hillary "Dennis Rodman" Clinton is #30, but I'd have her holding hands with Cruise at around #15 or so. #22 is about right for Jesse Jackson, but who gives a fuck about him any more? Oprah Winfrey is #20. Hmmmmmmmm, how about reconstituting her as a couch for Tom and Hillary to sit on, while Dr Phil skewers all three of them? Hee, hee . . . God makes the list at #13 and is sentenced to "Forever listening to an unending stream of idiotic, mundane prayers uttered by the dumbest, most inarticulate people in His creation."

Here's my favorite:
4. You

Charges: Silently enabling and contributing to the irreversible destruction of your planet. Absolving yourself of your responsibility to do anything about it that your immediate neighbors don’t. Assuming that it’s normal behavior to spend several hours each day totally inert and staring into a cathode ray tube. Substituting antidepressants for physical motion. Caring more about the personal relationships of people you will never meet than your own. Shrugging your shoulders at the knowledge that your government is populated by criminal liars intent on fooling you into impoverished, helpless submission. Cheering this process on.

Exhibit A: You don’t even know who your congressman is.

Sentence: Deathbed realization that your entire life was an unending series of stupid mistakes and wasted opportunities, a priceless gift of potential extravagantly squandered, for which you deserve nothing but scorn or, at best, indifference, and a cold, meaningless demise.

(useless creep that I am, I ripped the image of Satan Pat "This" Robertson off from Pam's House Blend. So sue me. She probably swiped it from someone else, anyway.)

UPDATE: Why didn't Rummy make the list? Raw Story points to "Study: Army Stretched to Breaking Point". Clips:
Stretched by frequent troop rotations to Iraq and Afghanistan, the Army has become a "thin green line" that could snap unless relief comes soon, according to a study for the Pentagon.

Andrew Krepinevich, a retired Army officer who wrote the report under a Pentagon contract, concluded that the Army cannot sustain the pace of troop deployments to Iraq long enough to break the back of the insurgency. He also suggested that the Pentagon's decision, announced in December, to begin reducing the force in Iraq this year was driven in part by a realization that the Army was overextended . . .

Rumsfeld has argued that the experience of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan has made the Army stronger, not weaker . . .
Although I continue to maintain that The Doubleduh-Cheney Gang never intended to actually win this war, but only to create chaos and destroy Iraq, it looks like I might have to concede a bit, but in this area only, on the "incompetence" issue. Meanwhile, also at Raw Story, "Whistleblower suspended by Pentagon oversight committee". What is truly loathsome about Donald Rumsfeld is that he makes big bucks when other folks get sick and/or die.

Just one last thrust of my friend jhin gram's mighty sword of peace: You must know that the institutional military is of little consequence to Rummy and the rest of these Dr Strangelove cockroaches. First, who cares about taking care of the US Armed Forces when you've got Blackwater USA, CACI, DynCorp and the rest? Second, the Masters of War are hoping DARPA will continue to cook up technology and systems that will eliminate the need for a "labor intensive" war machine. Try the ultra-slick DARPA/SPO page, for example. Or read "Defense robotics industry hopes to spring to life in Pa." in the Mercury News.