This is a hard one to write . . .

First, if you're a steady and loyal reader, you're familiar with this stuff. I hope you won't desert me - but you may have more stable fish to fry . . .

If you clicked here from my OpEd News ad, welcome. Please read my posts starting on May 6, "The Real War and the Great Diversion", as well as "About P!". I hope you who have gotten here from other places will do the same . . .

If you just somehow washed up onto this shore unwittingly, all I can say is I hope that you may be critically informed . . .

So here it is. I need to take some time away again. I know, I know . . . again???. Yeah - but as The Mad Scientist (you won't know who I'm referring to unless you're been in the radleft blogoswamp for awhile) used to say, "fuck you if you think you're better than everyone else."

Thing is, Kristen, I'm badass brickwalling it again. Hard to travel on the streets less you travel under'em, too. I'm sick: addiction, alcoholism, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, blew my life life up, gotta do a shelter thing, and this and that. About that heroin suppository we did you, Kristen?? . . . the bump bump funny bear says he's sorry.

You think this is an entertainment thing? Maybe I'm trying to just get sympathy and readership? Think maybe my thoughts and experience and pain and honest writing is just some twisted shit? Pray for me anyway. Real hard.

See, the thing is, I don't have denial on my side anymore. All gone. Not just denial about what I gotta fight, but what you gotta fight.

Advice time kiddies: think you're kewl? Think the system's gonna work? Think you can play the late-stage kapitalist game? Think you can avoid what I'm going through?

Read "Howl". Do a mixloop - just two riffs: "Hotel California" and Jack Nicholson saying, "You can't handle the truth".

Live in this moment, my friends. Don't know whether I'm coming back, but I'm here, right here, right now. Even if you have to desert me, I guarantee my heart won't screw you.

A special kiss to Michael Miller at Informed Dissent.

Be at peace and at peace.

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